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"Then [Jeffrey] Sachs and I, with my friend Bobby Shriver hit the road like some kind of surreal crossover act. A rock star, a Kennedy, and a noted economist crisscrossing the globe, like the Partridge Family on psychotropic drugs." -- Bono |
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"Then [Jeffrey] Sachs and I, with my friend Bobby Shriver hit the road like some kind of surreal crossover act. A rock star, a Kennedy, and a noted economist crisscrossing the globe, like the Partridge Family on psychotropic drugs." -- Bono |
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Like a Song: Bad
@U2,
June 20, 2007
[Ed. note: This is the fourth in a series of personal essays by the @U2 staff about songs and/or albums that have had great meaning or impact in our lives.]
 I've always felt that U2's music directly related to things that were going on in my life. This may have something to do with the fact that I'm about the same age as the members of U2, and we have gone through a lot of life's experiences at the same time. A lot of those life experiences have made their way into the music.In 1984, I was a college student unwrapping my vinyl copy of The Unforgettable Fire. Popular radio was filled with Frankie telling people to "Relax," and college radio was a welcome respite from what I considered to be stupid music. I counted myself a U2 fan, and the Violent Femmes and REM also had heavy rotation on my turntable. I was also struggling with watching someone very close to me wage a huge battle with addiction. It's hard to deal with something that heavy when you are surrounded by fraternity parties and football games, and when you realize that this isn't the common college experience. I couldn't really turn to any of my friends. I wasn't really in the mood to "Relax." In fact, I wasn't sure what mood I was in. I did feel desperate, sad, frustrated, angry...and alone. Out of the horrible little speakers on my combo turntable/cassette/8-track I suddenly hear Bono saying it all. "Bad" starts out the way I was feeling at the time, with a plea...a desire to fix it, to help the person, to make it go away. If I could throw this lifeless Lifeline to the wind Leave this heart of clay See you walk, walk away I certainly was in fix-it mode; I wanted to make it better, take it away. There's nothing worse than watching someone you love descend into hell. There's also nothing to say, nothing to do, to make it better until that person wants to make it better. For those of us who have ever been wrapped up with addiction, who are used to covering up or enabling, the idea that you can't fix it for them is very hard to accept. My friends liked the song but didn't love it; they had other favorites on the album. What they saw as a somewhat silly attempt to find a lot of rhyming words, I saw as the progression that someone goes through when they are faced with losing someone they love. Desperation Dislocation Separation Condemnation Revelation In temptation Isolation Desolation Let it go I reached the point in my relationship that I did have to let it go. I had to let it go for her benefit. How would she ever get better if she didn't suffer the consequences of any of her behavior? I also had to let it go for myself because I just couldn't stand to watch the destruction any longer. I do remember the moment this finally happened. We were involved in a conversation, and she just looked me in the face and lied again. On the surface, she seemed as calm as could be, thanks to a little chemical help. But in her eyes, there it was: the storm. True colors fly in blue and black Bruised silken skies and burning flack Colors crash, collide in bloodshot eyes She was in another world and I couldn't even reach her. I believe she was as desperate as I was, as frustrated, and lost. Surrender Dislocate "Bad" started out being about her; it ended up being about me. When the infamous Live Aid performance of "Bad" came along, I was transfixed. There was Bono telling me the song was indeed about addiction. There was U2 on stage, not the biggest band there by any stretch, knocking it out of the park. I watched as U2 performed the song and Bono worked himself into the music, ultimately launching himself in desperation over a 20-foot drop to save the girl. To me, that dance transpired out of the song, out of Bono's getting so immersed in the music that he needed to go save someone. It made complete sense to me that it was "Bad," and not one of their more popular songs, that ultimately launched them into the stratosphere. Because the lyrics were so intimate, so personal, I felt that it made sense that their willingness to share them solidified the relationship with the fans. It's hard to walk away from someone you love, someone you've been around and needed your entire life. It's especially hard to do this as a young adult just starting out in life and trying to find your way. "Bad" let me know I wasn't alone. © @U2/Page, 2007.
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