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"I don't want people coming to me, or the group, as some sort of God substitute or guru-like goons because I can look at myself in the mirror and just laugh." -- Bono |
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"I don't want people coming to me, or the group, as some sort of God substitute or guru-like goons because I can look at myself in the mirror and just laugh." -- Bono |
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Answer Guy: Unhappy at the Grammys?
@U2,
June 09, 2002
 From: Leanne I thought Larry's Anne looked miserable as hell at the Grammys. My God, if you were at the Grammys & your man was winning awards & has all that cash, you'd put a smile on, yes ?!!!! Dear Leanne: It has taken Ann (I've been ridiculed about spelling it Anne) more than a decade to perfect the sneer that we've come to expect from her, even under the greatest of circumstances. It was one of the things she needed to learn to live with Larry. They wake up each morning and turn to each other in bed and begin the "Sneer-off," a tradition they've come to enjoy over the years. Whoever relaxes their face first loses. Lately Larry has been flexing his forearms and his RSI causes him so much pain that he typically wins the contest. My mother used to tell me that my face would "freeze that way" if I sneered too often, but judging from Larry's youthful appearance, the medical community (and my mother) appeared to be very wrong.
From: Tonya I'm a U2 fan since 1994, they are the best musicians all the time, but I can't understand that they promote and collaborate with weak, bad and lack of any music ability popstars like the Corrs (awful support, last Bono collaboration on some songs), No Doubt (support), Nelly Furtado (support), Britney Spears and N'sync ("What's Going On" -- YES -- What's going on?!). It's unfair, they criticized them and now they promote them. Those popstars haven't got anything in common with beautiful U2 music and all the music. It's a shame to promote them!!!! Dear Tonya: You sound awfully mad at Bono. I will continue to support him until he appears on stage or records a duet with any of the following: 1) Michael
Bolton
From: Janey What's the name of the episode of The Simpsons U2 were in? Dear Janey: "Trash of the Titans."
From: (no name given) Was there a video for "Red Hill Mining Town" and if so where can one see it? Lord knows that piece of trash MTV will never show it again! Dear (no name given): A video was made in early 1987 but the band didn't like it and it was never shown in public. AG will no doubt get a couple dozen emails from people who claim to have seen it once on MTV, but they're wrong. They saw a video for "Spanish Eyes," which was taken from the Outside is America documentary. There have been rumors that some day down the road U2 will open the vault and include this mysterious video on some kind of video compilation, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
From: Dave If Edge were General Maximus Decimus Meridus in the blockbuster movie Gladiator and Bono were Emperor Commodus in said movie and they had a sword battle, who would survive to rule the Roman Empire and why? Dear Dave: If Bono and Edge were in the blockbuster film Gladiator, a film I thought was no better than the 45th best film of 2000, the fighting would be intense, the bloodshed severe. But at a certain point, Bono Commodus would fall prey to his biggest weakness: making sure the entire coliseum was enjoying the show. Commodus would climb the pillars to get closer to the serfs in the cheap seats, he'd bend down to hold the hand of a nobleman's child, he'd pet the enraged tigers. Edge Meridus would take advantage of this weakness by hitting Commodus from behind with one of those spikey-ball-on-chain things. Every time Commodus would turn his attention back to Meridus, he'd feel like he was neglecting the chubby mead-chugging courtesan in the top row of section XCVIIX. Edge Maximus would make quick work of the more beloved Bono Commodus.
[Disclaimer: All questions taken from legitimate emails. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Legitimate responses are usually sent via private email prior to getting the humorous treatment here. Sell before date stamped on carton. All times approximate. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Batteries not included. Some assembly required.] © @U2, 2002.
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