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"(Zoo TV) is a means for us to plunge 20,000 people in confusion." -- Adam, 1992 |
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"(Zoo TV) is a means for us to plunge 20,000 people in confusion." -- Adam, 1992 |
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Answer Guy: How do I read my official 2003 U2 wall calendar?
@U2,
April 27, 2003
From: David We are almost finished with the fourth month of the year and I still have no idea how to read my officially licensed U2 Wall Calendar. Please help. Dear David: You are not alone. Thousands of U2 fans have spent hard earned money on the 2003 U2 calendar only to be unable to glean any information from it whatsoever. The calendar is available here: http://www.calendars.com/Product.asp?PID=1&MGID=-1&IID=4021 It seems that the design of the calendar was left in the hands of Adam's party connection who was at the end of an ecstasy and Red Bull bender when he turned in his sketches which had the days of the week going backwards and the dates getting newer as you travel down the page. While this may have seemed like a good idea at the time, it leaves us fans with nothing more than a headache if we want to use the calendar for its intended purpose, i.e. to figure out the least expensive way to get our asses back to Cleveland this summer. Nobel Prize winning physicist Drew Shamberg has spent some of his prize money on developing a system of four convex mirrors which, if placed correctly, show the calendar in something approaching a normal way with Sunday through Saturday across the top, and the weeks in succession by row below. When I asked Dr. Shamberg for a drawing of his contraption, he balked, citing patent laws. He expects this invention, called the "we haven't spent enough money on you, now you have to f--- with our ability to know the very date reader," to make him the first two-time Nobel winner. Take that Desmond Tutu!
From: Danny This is a silly question but I have been thinking about it since I watched it. In the concert U2 gave in the Superbowl there were two kind of audiences, the one that was watching the game and the one that was on the field close to the band during the show, How did they get their tickets to see the concert? Were they watching the game too? Dear Danny: The fans standing on the field around the stage were local high school (secondary school) students who were chosen ahead of time to occupy that space around the stage. Due to the time constraints of the performance -- needing to setup the stage, do the show, and remove the stage within 18 minutes -- those students went through rehearsals during the week before the Super Bowl so they knew what was going to happen and were prepared for the big day.
From: Andy Last time somebody asked you about the airport (of the beautiful day video) and the planes flying over the band. I really think that these are digitally remastered scenes !!! Dear Andy: Digitally remastered! Sure. Next you'll tell me that Larry wasn't cavorting with a real mermaid in the "Electrical Storm" video. Shame on you!
From: Agnes I keep hearing that their next tour will be their last while others say it will be their last large scale tour, future tours will be on a smaller scale. Any insight into this. Do you really think they've thought that far ahead. Dear Agnes: If you're asking whether or not they *plan* that far ahead, no, they don't. But they do certainly look to the future to gauge what they want to do and the best time to do it. Like any good business, anticipating and future planning is a big part of what U2 does. It's not a coincidence that the next album and tour are being planned to coincide with their induction into the Hall of Fame next year.
From: Eric I keep reading war stories that mention how it's a tremendous insult in the Arab world to point the soles of your shoes at someone. Does Bono know this, and if he does, what does it say about that well-known concert gesture where he lifts his shoe at a TV camera, or directly at fans in the front row? Dear Eric: It's true that Arabs consider it an insult to be shown the sole of one's shoe. Bono's favorite gesture since the Zoo TV tour has been the leg up, sole open move he's perfected. During the 1997 PopMart tour of the Middle East and North Africa (Hello Yemen! Hello Yemen!), he made efforts to be more sympathetic. He had costume designer Frank "Flamer" Johnson attach mirrors on the soles of his shoes so that those in the front row could check their veils and/or skullcaps in the reflection. His generous gesture helped avoid an embarrassing moment for one Ali Haj "Little Adam" Asad Muhammad, when he noticed he had a bit of spinach on his teeth just as he was about to ask his lovely (although under her burqua it was hard to tell) girlfriend to marry him. A quick move with the dental floss was all that was needed to ensure this romantic moment went off without a hitch during Bono's rendition of "With or Without Allah." U2 may have seen the last of the Middle East. Also insulting:
[Disclaimer: All questions taken from legitimate emails. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Legitimate responses are usually sent via private email prior to getting the humorous treatment here. No bills over $20 accepted. Call before digging. Don't try this at home. One coupon per family per visit. Cash value 1/20¢.] © @U2, 2003.
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