The
U2 Fan Code
Version
3.0 (August '99)
written by Sarah (aglaia41@aol.com)
Much
indebted to the Geek Code, the Mode Code, and all
of the fellow fans that gave such great suggestions
and ideas. Thanks, everybody!
Codes
are a quick-and-cheesy way to proclaim your
opinions on fandom. Stick 'em in your signature
file, on a website, wherever. Tell the world what
you really think about those new albums,
without saying a word. Or just align yourself with
the Bono/Edge/Adam/Larry subcults. Come on, it's
fun, admit it.
To
put together your code, pick one answer to each
category that most closely matches your opinion.
(Yes, almost all of these are exaggerations. Just
go with it anyway.) Then string all the
abbreviations together in one arcane string of
gibberish.
For
example, here's Sarah the code girl's Code:
NO+
FA= S$ N+ B- C++ L O--- CV- AB3
...which
translates as: likes the new stuff a little more
than the old stuff; favorite bandmember is Adam,
and thinks that drooling over bandmembers is an
amusing thing for OTHER people to do; moderate
collection of U2 stuff that would be more if she
had more money; does a bit of U2 websurfing etc.
(actually, she's more of a N+ and a half); might
buy bootlegs if they were a little cheaper; has
gone to great lengths to see U2 in concert; listens
to a moderate dose of U2 in her free time; really
doesn't like off-topic manifestos; isn't too good
at turning people into U2 fans; favorite U2 song is
"One". Whew.
Well,
dive in. And remember, this is all in fun...
New
School/Old School
NO+++ What's the Joshua Tree? (just kidding)
NO++ Achtung Baby and Zooropa are
great, but don't speak to me about POP
NO+ If there were a fire and I could only rescue
either AB or JT, I'd rescue
AB
NO I like everything about equally...really
NO- I only bought POP to complete my
collection; I never listen to it
NO-- I secretly wish they'd do The Joshua Tree
2
NO--- Macphisto is actually the devil.
Anything that isn't acoustic sucks.
!NO Everything after War was a sellout! I
hate Brian Eno!!
NO? What have those U2 fellows been doing since the
eighties, anyway?
Playing
Favorites
Part 1, The Favorites:
FB Bono is the man! The shades! The swagger! No
contest!
FE Mr. the Edge is the real thing; Bono just gets
all the press. Who else could play samples with
each individual toe?
FA Between the bass and the sarongs--not to mention
the spoons--Adam's definitely the coolest U2
member. No pun intended.
FL My favorite: Larry Mullen Jnr. Plain and simple.
Great drummer, great (and very constant) hair,
great tattoos, takes no BS from anyone.
Okay,
feel free to stop here for the Playing Favorites
section. Or, if you'd like to drool a bit (as we
all know, there are many out there that drool more
than a bit), tack one of these on to the
end...
Part
2, Drool Factor:
++++ Yow! I'm trying to figure out a way to break
into a top-secret research facility and
clone this man.
+++ Major drool-worthy: I think all singers
/ guitarists / bassists / drummers are a bit more
attractive, just from leftover vibe...
++ Definitely near the top of my list, but I'm
willing to admit defeat
+ Okay, if we were on a deserted island, maybe that
would be fun...but otherwise I'm not gonna worry
about it
(Examples of the two-parter: DB++++ very serious
Bono drooler, DL++ moderate Larry drooler)
Or, on the other hand, if you think this whole
drooling tendency is strictly for amateurs, add on
one of these instead:
- Enough drooling over the band members! This is
silly! (example: FB-, you think Bono is cool, but
drooling is dumb)
= Drool all you want--it's amusing for the rest of
us.
The
Stuff
S++++ You name it, I have it. I have recordings I
think even U2's never heard of, and I'll buy
anything that has lemons on it.
S+++ All of the albums, a good number of the
singles, and more merch from the last tour or two
than I could ever use/hang up.
S++ All of the albums, maybe a few singles, and
just enough miscellaneous stuff that it could be
easily grabbed in case of an emergency. (Right
after the family photo album. Or maybe at the same
time.)
S+ Most or all of the albums, and maybe my favorite
single or two for convenience. Some show stuff
and/or lemon stuff, nothing major.
S Half to most of the albums (I'll get
October someday, okay?!?) and maybe a
souvenir or two from PopMart
S- Relatively small stash: The Joshua Tree, Achtung
Baby, and two more albums at the most
S-- I have the Joshua Tree, and that's it,
but...um...I do like that one.
S--- I picked up the Best-of with the B-sides.
That's it.
S---- I picked up the Best-of without the B-sides.
That's it.
Add to the end:
...$ The only thing that's stopping me from getting
more is a shortage of cash (example: S++$, medium
stash of stuff aspiring to be a big stash of
stuff.)
Net
Presence
N+++ Most of a major mailing list/NG/BBS knows me
by my first name
N++ I run a fan site that's updated even between
albums
N+ I check the mailing lists/bulletin boards every
day, and I have a vast collection of bookmarks
N I read a mailing list regularly and like it, but
that's about it
N- I read a mailing list regularly, but don't like
to admit it
N-- I've heard of mailing lists, but I think
they're just a waste of my precious time
N--- I refuse to believe anything I hear
online
!N Mailing lists are a total waste of bandwidth; I
won't go near them. And most of the websites suck,
too!
N? U2 is on the Internet?
Bootlegging
B+++ I can recite large chunks of For Love Or
Money from memory
B++ My bootleg collection is extensively
cross-referenced by date and location
B+ I automatically sing the "Hear me coming,
love..." part in "One" every time I hear it
B I only buy bootlegs of the shows I've been to
B- I might buy bootlegs if they weren't so
expensive
B-- I've heard bootlegs, but wasn't impressed; the
real thing is even better
B--- I don't care what the band says, bootlegging
is just wrong!
!B Bootlegging is the root of all evil!
B? Bootlegging? Isn't that something Deadheads
do?
Concerts
C+++ I've seen every tour since Bono's infamous
white-flag days
C++ I've traveled across state/country lines to see
a show I've already seen at home
C+ I've seen a tour more than once
C I've seen them live once or twice
C- I've seen them live once or twice, but I
probably won't go next time
C-- I went once, I got trampled, I hated it,
goodbye
C--- Wild horses couldn't drag me to one of those
shows
C~ I haven't gotten to see them yet, but I'm
counting down the minutes until they start touring
again
!C I absolutely refuse to bother; I can listen to
the CDs anytime
C? U2 is still touring?
Add to the end:
...# if the only thing that messes up your track
record is your birthdate. (For example, C# --I've
only seen PopMart, but it's not my fault I was 3
years old during The Joshua Tree
tour!)
Listening
Habits
L++++ If I could find a way to listen to U2
more often than my present 24/7, I would. I have a
U2 song ready for any possible occasion.
L+++ If I'm awake, it's on. I'll find ways to
listen at school/work if possible (smoke breaks for
smokers, lemon breaks for U2ers?)
L++ I listen during most of my free time--hey, at
least then it's not associated with non-fun
activities like work.
L+ When I have control of the background music (car
or home), it's a safe bet it's U2; people have
stopped asking "What are you listening to?"
L I listen to a lot of stuff in my free time, but
U2 makes up a healthy amount of it (maybe 25-30%
overall)
L- I listen to something U2-y around once a week,
when I'm in the mood for it
L-- I listen to them in one specific instance, like
in the car, and I'm happy with that
L--- I think I have one of their CD's in my
changer/collection...somewhere
L---- I won't turn off the radio if they come
on
Add to the end:
...X if this is the point where you're forced to
stop by coworkers, supervisors, parents, sick-of-U2
significant others, etc. (example: L++X Listen in
my free time, but if I ruled the world (mwahaha),
it would be way more.)
Off-Topic
Musings
O+++ I regularly write multi-paragraph manifestos
about religion, culture, and international politics
on U2 mailing lists/bulletin boards, and I flame
everyone who disagrees with me
O++ I write multi-paragraph manifestos on U2
mailing lists/bulletin boards about religion,
culture, and international politics only when it's
an issue near and dear to my heart
O+ I follow the off-topic stuff, but I'm too afraid
of flames to post
O I browse through the off-topic stuff now and
then
O- I usually skip the off-topic stuff
O-- I mutter unprintable words at the writers of
off-topic posts as I ignore them
O--- People! Can we get back to the music now,
please?
!O I actually flame flamers, trying to get them to
shut up
O? I'm not on a mailing list/bulletin board
Conversions
CV+++ I've converted or tried to convert everyone
I've ever met into a U2 fan
CV++ I've converted or tried to convert all of my
family and friends into U2 fans
CV+ I've converted or tried to convert my closest
friends into U2 fans
CV I've converted a couple of people into U2 fans
by accident
CV- I've tried to convert a few people, but I
usually don't succeed
CV-- I tried to convert a few people and quit after
they looked at me funny
CV--- When someone says "Oh no, not U2 again," I
say "Okay, maybe you're right" and turn it off
!CV Who am I to impose my musical tastes on
anyone?
Top
Songs
This is a new way to include your one
ultra-favorite U2 song in your Code. It's another
two-parter, like so:
Part 1: The Albums
BO Boy
OC October
WA War
UB Under a Blood Red Sky
UF The Unforgettable Fire
WA Wide Awake In America
JT Joshua Tree
RH Rattle And Hum
AB Achtung Baby
ZO Zooropa
PA Passengers: Original Soundtracks 1
PO Pop
BO Best Of U2 1980-1990
Part
2: The Songs
This is as easy as looking at the track listing on
the CD/album in question. Add the track number to
the end of the album abbreviation. For example,
"Where the Streets Have No Name" is JT track
1, so: JT1. "One" is AB3. And so on. If your
ultra-favorite super-special U2 song is a B-side or
a non-album track...um...pick your second
ultra-favorite super-special song, I guess.
You're
now the owner of a unique U2 Fan Code.
Display it proudly. If you'd like to include the
URL so that others can decipher your code (strictly
optional), it's
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Nook/8197/sideline/u2code.html
...I'm working on getting a redirection address
(like listen.to) in order to shorten this. It's not
done yet.
If
anyone wishes to post/reproduce this guide to the
Code, please contact
the author
afterward, so that she may gloat over her success.
If anyone has any ideas for new categories,
changes, et cetera, let
me know.
Have
a lemony day!
History
of changes:
- June
1999, 1.0: the first version,
obviously.
- June
1999, 1.1: added line to Concerts
(thanks!).
- July
1999, 2.0: added second half of Drool Factor,
Listening Habits, and The Stuff. (Thanks even
more, everyone!)
- July
30, 1999, 3.0: took out Trivia (needed room);
diplomatically took out references to Wire to
include all fans; changed Drool Factor into
Playing Favorites; added Top Songs. This update
absolutely would not exist without the input of
fellow fans. Thanks to everyone!
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